


Dark as the Dawn

by casizdumb



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Action/Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Angst, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I am a nerd, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Inspired by Art, Inspired by Music, Jedi Training (Star Wars), M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor Violence, Original Character(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Sorry Not Sorry, Superpowers, This Is STUPID, Trauma, its mental illness innit, ok im done, probably minor nsfw, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:14:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29640750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casizdumb/pseuds/casizdumb
Summary: "Emotions are a distraction"Kieran Celena Nadir has done everything she can to forget her past. As a major for the Empire, it's the least of her worries. She's lived among the violence, among the darkness for as long as she wants to remember, knowing nothing but the sterile white walls of her base and the black robes that itch. The Empire is her home. She knows her parents abandoned her without a single thought, to fight for the rebellion. She knows that she hates the world for what it did to her. She knows that she wants nothing to do with love. But she also knows something is changing inside her. Something she doesn't know what to do with, what it means, or how to control it.Calin Villarreal wants to prove himself. He's training to be a Jedi. Or well, he's trying to convince his teacher to let him. So when he meets Kieran, and immediately takes a liking to the mysterious girl, he sees an opportunity to help them both.Soon the two; the girl who was never meant to be, and a boy who tries to be what he is not, will be wrapped up in something much bigger than themselves. Their big problem will be choosing what side they're on.Original Star Wars work. For fun :)
Relationships: Kaito/Marcus, Kieran/Calin (OC), Kieran/Marcus (OC), Kieran/darth vadar, calin/obi-wan kenobi (his teacher assholes), probably more im just stupid





	Dark as the Dawn

**Author's Note:**

> Hey lol. I came up with this entire story from a 20 second scene in the Mandalorian. It's based entirely on original characters I made up, and some star wars original characters (Darth Vadar/Obi-Wan/etc) will make random appearances. It is set somewhere between the events of the prequel trilogy and the original trilogy. Some of the dates and info will probably be wrong because im not an expert but just roll with it. Don't question my omnipotent power in this story to change whatever I want lol. Also yea the main character is on the dark side thats the whole point. Again, just roll with it.  
> Many wishes of good health and prosperity  
> -Your dutiful and humble author

Kieran-

I was born 19 years ago, under the dark sky of a new moon, in a junk yard on the outskirts of Tyrena in Corellia. 

My parents named me Kieran Celena Nadir, which directly translates to “black moon”. I suppose they thought they were being clever. My father was a pilot, and a good one at that. My mother was the daughter of some important family. Their love was never meant to be. And neither was I. They had no idea how I came into the world, but there I was, my pale head as bright and round as the non existent moon. My right hand was malformed during labor. My mother sobbed when she saw it, thinking it was some sort of omen. The local doctor, knowing I would get no use out of it, sawed it off and replaced it with a metal one. 

It’s been updated quite a few times now, as technology has advanced, but it’s still dull, and still rusts, and still is not a hand. 

I grew up quiet. I never said much. The other kids were afraid of me, of the girl with the stern, cold eyes and the metal hand. All I wanted were friends. My parents were so worried, so fearful, that I wouldn’t grow up like the others. Normal. Regular. They found a local woman, who would come each day and teach me words until I grew tired of the torture.

My first word was “stop.” I was 5 years old. 

I never told my parents that I’d always known how to speak. I didn’t find the need to. I didn’t want them to be mad, or disappointed. I just wanted it to go away. The coddling, the worry. The constant watchful eye. After that, it all gets blurry. I think I blocked it out. I didn’t want to remember. To remember my parents, or a time where I was happy, or a time where I was normal. I didn’t want to remember how it felt to hug someone, or to run in the dirt, or to go to sleep peaceful. I remembered being pushed away. I remembered falling on my face to a mouthful of dust and scrapes on my knees. I remember falling asleep with salty tears on my cheeks, listening to them yell in the kitchen. My father; Jorge Nadir, and my mother; Natalia Nadir, abandoned me when I was 10 years old. This is one of the memories I force myself to remember. They said something about a war, about a battle. That they had to help, they had to go. They promised they would come back for me, that they were going to save people, that they loved me. Neither of them shed a tear. My father did not hug me, and my mother didn’t whisper some inspirational words of guidance in my ear before she left. I learned early on that life was not an old story, not a movie. Life was real, life was cruel, and life was disappointing. 

They both walked away, my mother turning back to look at me before they got in their ship. 

I thought she would say “I love you.” “I believe in you.” “I’ll miss you.” “I’ll save the world, and I’ll do it for you.” But she simply sighed, nothing but exhaustion in her eyes.

“Be good Celena.” I think what she really meant was ‘don’t be yourself.’ 

Spoiler; Mr and Mrs Nadir did not come back. Sorry.

I waited for three years. Most of the battles had been fought. The empire had won. The rebellion was in hiding. Everyone knew. Darth Vadar had risen to power. He ruled the Galaxy. And probably some other ones. Maybe Jorge and Natalia were dead. Or prisoners. Perhaps stuck somewhere with no ability to return. Or they just decided that I wasn’t important. I don’t think I would have cared which one actually happened. I tried not to think about it too much. While they were gone, I grew. My legs became long and lean from daily walks. My figure became somewhat pronounced, no matter how much I hid it under dirty brown robes. My face became bony and sunken from not eating enough. My eyes; honey brown with flecks of green and grey, were dull and dim. Hardly anyone in town spoke to me. Hardly any one liked me. 

One winter, the town fell ill with a sickness. Many of the elders and the younglings didn’t survive. I got it, and as my health declined, my hair fell out in chunks until it was all gone. I cried and moaned for weeks, the burning in my head and the sweat on my skin too much to bear. A group of troopers came, and they gave medicine to the sick. The empire saved my life. Nothing was left for me there. I didn’t have anything to believe in, to fight for, to live for. I was a young girl, all alone in a world that had deserted her. So when the stormtroopers left, I joined them. 

“What’s your name kid?” A cool, nearly robotic voice asked me under his pale white mask. I’m sure he was trying to determine if I was a girl or a boy. 

“Kieran.” I said, lifting my chin and trying to convince him I belonged. Or maybe I was trying to convince myself. 

“That’s it? Full name kid. It’s for the record.” He said sternly, an exhausted whistle falling from his lips. I shuffled my feet. 

“My middle name is Celena.” I answered. “Dunno my last name.” Lies. 

“Parents dead?” 

I stopped. Looked down. Looked back up. Nodded.

He sighed again. 

“Well you’ve gotta have a last name. I’ll just make one up, how’s that sound?” I shrugged. I could tell the trooper was eyeing me under the mask. His head tilted up, to the sky, where evening was soon approaching. His fingers danced on his tablet. “Night.” He said, more to himself than anything. “Kieran Celena Night.” I groaned. 

Black moon night. Brilliant. 

He pulled a little bracelet looking thing out of his pocket, like a wristband, but made of smooth metal and glass. He tapped it to the screen of his pad, and it lit up with a beep. The trooper handed it to me, and I attached it to my wrist, my name shining up at me. 

“Welcome to the forces of the Empire, Miss Night.” 

…

“These long shifts are going to kill me.” Kaito Kim said, groaning as he slid onto the bench in front of me, a white tray of food in his hands. I smiled, raising my eyebrow at him and taking a bite of whatever the cafeteria had conjured up for us to eat tonight. 

“You’re in engineering Kai.” I waved him off. “What’s so exhausting, sitting in a chair and occasionally fixing a busted circuit?” 

He looked hurt, brown eyes pouting at me. “Oh I’m sorry, miss Lieutenant Commander, is your life very difficult?” He mocked. 

I looked down at the bowl of grey slop on my tray, dipping my spoon inside and cringing when a glob of something splashed back in. I pushed the tray away. “Major.” I corrected him. “Lieutenant commander is only-.”

“For the Navy division.” Said Trinity Morgan, sliding in beside Kai. She pulled her helmet off and placed it beside her, giving her head a gentle shake so her long blonde hair could escape the shackles of her uniform. Stormtrooper armor; not the most comfortable. “We know.” 

“At least someone listens to me.” I grumbled at Kai, who glared back before sticking his tongue out. I snorted as I took a sip of tea from my canteen. 

“Major Night.” A voice said seriously. I stood up immediately, stiff as a board, my arms at my sides, posture perfect.

“Major General Thomas.” I replied in my most emotionless tone, giving him a nod and looking straight ahead. 

“At ease.” I released the tension in my muscles, shoulders slumping slightly, and let myself meet the eyes of my superior. 

Major General Thomas, known only to others of his rank as Marcus Thomas, and only to the closest of friends as Mar, was the most attractive person I’d ever seen in my life. 

His hair was short, shaggy and caramel brown, the sides cut shorter than the front, falling softly over his forehead. His eyes were the color of rich chocolate, his skin that of warm honey. Black ink curled up his neck, but I’d never been able to see what the pattern was beneath that. He always looked terrific in the tight black uniforms, while I always looked out of place. His jaw was sharp, his lips and nose perfectly full. His eyebrows were always thick and furrowed, giving him a perfect serious yet mysterious gaze. His voice was deep and hoarse. 

And he was my boss. 

Just my luck, of course. 

“What can I help you with, Major General?” I asked, always making sure to keep the air of professionalism. 

“I need you to report to my office tomorrow. At 0800 hours.” He said, looking bored. 

“Yes sir.” I answered. He narrowed his eyes at me, sweeping his gaze over my body as I squirmed. They paused on my silver limb, and I held in the desire to ask him what the fuck he was staring at.

“And, wear a cleaner uniform please.” He gave me a sharp nod, glancing at Kai and Trin, who were grinning at him abashedly, before walking away. I sat back down, pulse racing. 

“Gosh Kee.” Trinity sighed. “You’re a lucky one. Kai and I don’t have hot superiors.” She pouted, sticking out her thin bottom lip. 

“I would never complain about long hours if I worked for him.” Kai commented as he watched General Thomas walk away.

I giggled, pulling my fingers through my hair and throwing it up in a loose ponytail. “I promise it’s nothing exciting. He’s my boss. What am I supposed to do, jump on him?” I smiled. Kai grabbed my cold, artificial hand from across the table, shooting me a sincere and loving look. He tilted his head like a puppy. 

“Yes.” 

“You’re animals.” I laughed. “Both of you.” I ripped my hand away from him and left them to get some rest. My head was hurting again. 

I’d been here; the Chirrion base in the Rolion Sector, near the outer rim, for 6 years. Birthdays, holidays, promotions came and went. I’d been a major for a year now. I wasn’t the best officer, the best worker. But I was determined, and I was unattached.  
All of the superiors I’d served under had always said one thing, “emotions were a distraction.” I had always agreed. Kai and Trinity were my only friends. I was never good at making them. I was too grim, too silent, too brooding. I didn’t need anyone but myself to do my job. To climb the ranks. To live. Emotions were a distraction, and my solitude was my strength. 

My key card flashed over the door to enter my cabin. The handle lit up, and an artificial female voice flowed through the speakers. The words were too sharp, vowels too perfect, sound too monotone to be human. 

“Identification?” It asked. 

“Kieran Celena Night.” The door unlocked with a click, and shut tight behind me. I sighed, immediately unbuttoning the itchy, dull grey vest and matching trousers. The patch on my chest identified my rank. My white tank top came off next, quickly replaced with a too large black T-shirt and grey joggers. 

My feet stumbled into the bathroom, If you could call it that. A 6 by 6 square of white tile. The toilet flipped over into a small shower, which I'd never understood. Maybe I would ask Kai about that. The only part that didn’t move was the counter, white marble, with drawers below and cabinets above, along with a glass mirror. A sharp ping of pain ran through my head, and my hand slapped up to my temple as I winced. I’d been getting migraines for a few months now. They’d started right after my 19th birthday, sharp, throbbing, and torturous. Trinity and Kai had convinced me, after a lot of stubborn retorts on my end, to go to the med bay. The doctor had handed me a bottle of little green pills and grumbled to take one a day. 

My real hand shook as I opened one of the cabinets, pulled out the bottle, and threw the mint green cylinder into my mouth. Mere seconds later, the pain had subsided to a tolerable tingle. 

I looked in the mirror and grimaced. I was surprised that Kai and Trin hadn’t said anything condescending about the lines burrowed in the skin of my forehead from my permanent scowl, or mocked the dark shadows under my eyes. My large lips were badly chapped, eyebrows not well groomed, a few stray pimples angry and red. I covered them in some ointment, and rubbed balm on my mouth. My dark skin was relatively smooth, though it had lost its glow and much of its color from basically living inside the harsh white walls of the base. I pulled my hair out of its ponytail, looking disgustingly at the mottled grey strands that fell around my neck. 

When it had all fallen out as a child, it had grown back discolored. The top was the dark brown it had always been, but underneath, like an odd dye, like all the life had been sucked out of it, was a faded silver. It looked terrible. For a few years, I’d tried to dye it, but it always faded quickly, and returned to the deathly grey, so I gave up. Now I did my best to hide it, or at least not see it myself. 

I looked so tired, so old, so weathered. But mostly tired. 

“What’s the weather outside?” I asked. The mirror lit up, classic white led. The same robotic voice as before answered my question. 

“It’s sunny today. With a high of 56.” She said, and the light faded again when I said nothing.

Sun. I didn’t remember what that felt like. It had been weeks, months, years, since I’d been outside. Since I’d felt natural warmth on my skin. Since I’d seen real plants. Since I’d heard birds chirping or wind howling. But sometimes, that was the price you had to pay. For solitude. For peace. For security. For safety. I took a deep breath and let it out through my nose. The lights in the room faded behind me as I walked to my bed. I climbed on the stiff padding, pulling the thin sheet over my frame. I could have sworn my metal hand was pulsing.

I was so tired of safe. 

My eyes fluttered closed as the usual scream of thoughts invaded my mind. 

This isn’t who you are.

You need to leave.

They’re still out there. 

They still love you.

I did my best to shut them out, and when I fell asleep, the memories came to me in my dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter was probably a little rocky, I didn't take a lot of time to edit. If anyone at all reads this, not sure when there will be uploads. I am depressed and in school. Kidding! Just lazy. If anyone is wondering, Kieran is a girl. Hope that made sense.  
> Later skaters  
> -Cas


End file.
